Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Forgiveness "The Mental Gymnastics!!"

Forgiveness "The Mental Gymnastics!!"
Okay, ladies let's talk... There is a healing that needs addressing more then ever. I believe it is an EPIDEMIC of sorts!!!! It is the "Mental Gymnastics we put ourselves through just so we can justify our unforgiving behavior. Okay, now wait before you say "What do you mean unforgiving behavior?"
Well, as a health and wellness coach and a professional stylist; I speak to women everyday and I hear their pain, anger, bitterness, fear, broken spirit, callousness and watch how emotionally paralyzed they are. I remember that place. I remember how it crippled me of knowing and being the best version of myself.

 I plea to you ladies to start the work of letting go..  It is liberating. FORGIVENESS!!!!  It is like a breath of fresh air after being trapped in smoke for hours. In the smoke you cannot see clearly. It represents the thickness of the pain.
FORGIVENESS is  LETTING GO THAT THE PAST CAN NEVER CHANGE...
There are some things that people do to you that cuts deep and you are justified in not speaking to them anymore. Most times you may feel justified in your anger. However, in hind site they have you just where they want you. They are taking your power away from you. Usually, as you entrap the space that could be occupied with your greatness with malice and anger in your heart ; the other person continues on with life as normal. You to them is an after thought. Where there is un-forgiveness, there is anger. Where there is anger there is fear. Where there is fear there is pain. Identify with the pain that you fear. Face it head on. Tell it " I have packed your bags and you are evicted!"  You cannot change the past. Holding on to that pain or anger will only prevent your blessing.. Let the Universe fight the battle for you. There is Karma. You've heard it. "What goes around, comes around." Forgiveness is for you in your heart. You don't have to tell the person that you forgive them or even speak to them. Howevr, you can release them from housing space inside you. Vacate the premises immediately..

Let your heart function the way it was made to function; with love.. When you do re-introduce yourself to your heart. Tell it you apologize for starving it of its birth-right. Tell your heart you will never let anyone come between the two of you again. Then finally look in the mirror and say " I love you enough to NEVER let anyone still our joy... Please be clear that this will not happen over night. It will require a lot of mental gymnastics. However, every time you think of the circumstance say this. "Thank you for the opportunity to grow from this lesson."  Repeat that over and over again until it is your truth. Acknowledge your pain and move on. Bitterness and anger never gets tired just like fire. As long as you feed it. It will grow. So please Forgive!!! LET GO THAT THE PAST CAN EVER CHANGE...
 Remember that I am hear as your sister to hold you accountable for your GREATNESS!! Mediocrity is not an option. You deserve to be the very best version of yourself.
I am your biggest fan... Email me and ask me how I did it for details on specific advice. Till then your sister loves you...

Friday, February 14, 2014

The Language of Love.... Do you know it ?????

Alright so today is Valentines Day.... This is a day where many will scramble to create a special symbolic experience to hold as a memory. Ladies watch for flowers, chocolate and an outing to  dinner. Men run around at the last minute to pick up some flowers or cringe at the thought of the high expensive day that depletes their finances.
However I ask you this; does this truly display love? Does the lack of demonstration mean that the significant other doesn't love you? Hhhmmm!!!

You know often times we have  what we believe is a clear picture on how to love someone.
We take pride in treating our loved ones the way we want to be treated. Is that the right way?
Well I have been the victim of loving someone the best way I believe,  I would want to be loved. I put my best efforts out for display only to find it was not enough. I have also had some one give me their very best only to feel unfulfilled and empty. What was the problem?

Well I have embarked upon a great discovery a few years ago. It is the book called "The Five Love Languages " by: Gary D. Chapman. He explains in his book that; instead of loving a person the way you want to be loved; study them and figure out what their love language is. This way you can efficiently love them in their language instead of yours. Below is his philosophy and I urge you to take a peak. It changed my way of loving and it has been successful in all of my relationships. Even with my son and daughter. So as you dwell on what love is going to do for you today. First find out what your love language is. Happy Love day.


Chapman's Five Emotional Love Languages:

  • Words of Affirmation
    This is when you say how nice your spouse looks, or how great the dinner tasted. These words will also build your mate's self image and confidence.
  • Quality Time
    Some spouses believe that being together, doing things together and focusing in on one another is the best way to show love. If this is your partner's love language, turn off the TV now and then and give one another some undivided attention.

  • Gifts
    It is universal in human cultures to give gifts. They don't have to be expensive to send a powerful message of love. Spouses who forget a birthday or anniversary or who never give gifts to someone who truly enjoys gift giving will find themselves with a spouse who feels neglected and unloved.

  • Acts of Service
    Discovering how you can best do something for your spouse will require time and creativity. These acts of service like vacuuming, hanging a bird feeder, planting a garden, etc., need to be done with joy in order to be perceived as a gift of love.

  • Physical Touch
    Sometimes just stroking your spouse's back, holding hands, or a peck on the cheek will fulfill this need.

Determining Your Own Love Language

Since you may be speaking what you need, you can discover your own love language by asking yourself these questions:
  • How do I express love to others?
  • What do I complain about the most?
  • What do I request most often?
Speaking in your spouse's love language probably won't be natural for you. Dr. Chapman says, "We're not talking comfort. We're talking love. Love is something we do for someone else. So often couples love one another but they aren't connecting. They are sincere, but sincerity isn't enough."

Emotional Experiences

The number one emotional experience reported by folks is feeling the presence of God in their lives. The emotional high of being in love (which generally lasts around 2 years) is the second highest emotional experience that people reportedly have.
That is why it can be so difficult to try and talk some sense into someone who is in the midst of falling in love. Chapman stated that obsessive love can render people mentally incompetent. "There's not much difference between being in love and being insane."

Fading Tingle and Empty Love Tanks

After the first or second year of marriage, when the initial "tingle" is starting to fade, many couples find that their "love tanks" are empty. They may have been expressing love for their spouse, but in reality they may have been speaking a different love language. The best way to fill your spouse's love tank is to express love in their love language. Each of us has a primary love language. Usually, couples don't have the same love language.

Tank Check

Dr. Chapman recommends that you have a "Tank Check" 3 nights a week for 3 weeks. Ask one another "How is your love tank tonight?" If, on a scale from zero to ten, it is less than 10, then ask "What can I do to help fill it?" Then do it to the best of your ability.

The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman.

Saturday, January 11, 2014

COLOR BLIND WOMEN GOING LIVE!!!!!!!!!!

The Reclaimed Promise Ceremony!!!!

 Announcement!!Announcement!! 

 Ladies I am pleased to announce that this blog is going live and interactive 
in 2014.. This is perfect because this is going to be a dig DEEP intervention for the new year as it approaches. Ladies here in Boston  it is time that we create the support system you need. This is going to be awesome! We will be covering some real deal topics about men, money, spirituality, motherhood, being single, and passing the baton. Most of all we will be discussing how to love ourselves and how to be sisters to one another. All that I say in my blog is coming to you live . We will also have male speakers to give us insight on relationships from a male perspective. Please understand that this is not going to stop. We will meet regularly.. Join me and many others!! Nice!!! Right??  Come and defy all the myths that stand in our way of becoming the BEST VERSION of ourselves!!! When unified women come together GREAT things manifest. Join me!! 


NEXT WEEKEND!!!!!

The date: January 18th, 2014

Time: 7pm-9pm

Location: Dorchester YMCA
776 Washington Street
Dorchester, Ma 02124

Contact: Dina Shackleton 
Email : colorblindwomen1@gmail.com

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!




Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!
What an amazing year we had. WOW!!! The most  high God is POWERFUL and his GRACE is such a gift!!! We had fun this year. Let’s recap!  We push ourselves past our potential. We learned to forgive. We reclaimed ourselves. We found the queen in us. We established that we are enough. We discovered that we want to live on purpose. We worked to get our finances in order. We have a following across the globe:
Entry
Pageviews
Ukraine
164
United States
105
Israel
103
China
7
 Lastly we strived for emotional health. I say that is accomplishing!! Feel free to visit the archives if you missed any. Nonetheless, people everywhere recognize that we have a common thread. We will continue to lace it around the globe. We are connecting women everywhere. Love, Peace and Harmony!!

THIS year we get to meet…How awesome is that. This year we have sooo much in store for you so stay tune. This year is about the seeds harvesting. We will be interactively working together to be the BEST VERSION of OURSELVES.  However, for now I want to reintroduce colorblindwomen to you.  If you are new to it I want to welcome you to your circle of sisterhood and support. I love you and can’t wait to be there for you…

Welcome

Welcome to a blog that celebrates YOU the WOMEN of every walk of life. The Sisterhood of Color Blind Women.

Definition:
Sisterhood: 1. An organization of women with a common interest, as for social, charitable, business, or political purposes. 2. Congenial relationship or companionship among women; mutual female esteem, concern, support etc... 3. Usually, the sisterhood, the community or network of women who participates in or support feminism.

As I look up the definition of sisterhood I am thinking to myself what will this gathering of women mean to one another. I am more than excited to congregate with all of you and see how different we are and what walk of life we have come from. I really know and understand the importance of support and friendship. There is something so powerful about women coming together assertively to uplift one another. Some of you are single, single with children, married, married with children and some are retired and have been there and done it all. (We love you!!) Imagine all the advice and wisdom to pass along. Imagine all the recipes for food, sickness remedies, love, patience, and understanding that could be obtained .This is clearly not place to throw on airs and flex muscles but rather a place to let your hair down and be girls again in the dorm room after cramming for finals. I invite you today to invest in yourself by investing in one another. Let us do inventory of ourselves and examine what we need and want this blog to mean to us. I thought it would only make sense to have each woman write in the comment space their opinion and perception of women and lets begin the vent session. This way we can filter and re-establish what is our birth right: intuition, nurturing love, strength, confidence, nourishment of the soul and TRUST. Ladies we will have culture, pain, happiness and a plethora of very informative information. Shall we? Let's begin our journey in being Color Blind Women of the women race.

Archives to search for and read of our recap..

Saturday, December 28, 2013

AnnTaylor Announcement

Announcement!!!!
colorblindwomen. com has had such an amazing response that the Ann Taylor on Newbury St is suggesting we move the event to a larger location with better parking. Thank you to all participants for responding and rsvping for this event .
As a result of your following it has been brought to my attention that tomorrow's event is being postponed so a bigger venue can be the host. The marketing department has stated that AnnTaylor of the Natick mall may be the bigger and better location to host with parking. Stay tune for further details. Thank you team for all your support.
Can't wait to meet you all.

Friday, December 27, 2013

Ann Taylor hosting colorblindwomen for the holidays join us!!

It is with great pleasure to inform you that AnnTaylor of Newbury Street will be hosting a
 colorblindwomen's event; allowing the followers to come shop in a private setting while refreshments are being served all followers will get between 20-30% discount on there purchases. This will be a private affair Please join us and meet me Dina Shackleton CEO of colorblindwomen,com while enjoying your shopping for the new year. I look forward to meeting you all. See you there ;-)!!

Location: 800 Boylston St, Boston, MA 02199
Date: Sunday December 29,2013
Time: 3pm - 5pm

Friday, December 6, 2013

Mandela Thank you for being obedient to your purpose!!!

WOW!!!!!  What a remarkable man to have marveled this earth as a servant. This man did not let  3 decades of imprisonment prevent him from owning his voice and purpose. I am saddened that his candle has burned out. However, I understand and respect the unknown powers that attaches to what we call life. Understanding that you matter and that your voice has a massive amount of power and strength is a revelation that is imperative. It is an ABSOLUTE MUST TO UNDERSTAND THAT your thoughts, mind, voice and movement is IMPORTANT!!!!!
It is important to find your purpose. You see, without a purpose in life it's easy to get side tracked with your life's journey. Its easy to wonder and drift through life aimlessly accomplishing very little. You owe it to yourself to contribute patriotically to the human race. You are a citizen of the human race. You don't have to be president, doctor, lawyer or Gandhi but by displaying the very BEST version of yourself is honoring the life that the Divine has given you.
With purpose everything in life seems to fall into place. To live and be on purpose means you are doing what you love to do,doing what your good at and accomplishing what is important to you. Make note; when you truly are on purpose, the people, resources and opportunities you need naturally gravitate towards you. Trust me the world benefits too; because when you act in alignment with your true life purpose, all of your actions automatically serve others. I know this for fact. As I began this blog to simply heal myself and to genuinely reach out to other women and let them know how important it is to love one another. How important it is to work in unity, to give each other support. I had no clue that this would take a life of its own. The universe embraced my gift because we are in alignment together. I want this for you too.
I challenge you today to dare dig deep inside the core of your being and discover your purpose. When you do please let your sister (me) know all about it. Email me and let me showcase your journey....
Congrats in advance,,,,
Dina