Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Happy 2015!!!!

Ladies, we did it we survived another year of existence. How do you feel? I just know that this year is awaiting you with great expectation. I know some of you had some challenging days in 2014. I had my share of interesting chapters to add to my book of life. Some people had loss, promotions, confusion, sickness, relocations, depressions and some triumphs. Regardless of where you were, prays be to the Master of creation we survived  to add  to the pages of our life.

So what's the plan? Many people have a laundry list of New Years resolutions. New workout regimes, no more smoking, no more cursing, leaving negativity behind, starting a business, etc...
You know what I love about the turn of a new year? It is the unification of positivity in most people. Everyone wants and hopes to do something to better themselves. I love the concept that this positive vibration is happening. There is so much power in that. For as long as you have air in your lungs you are here with a purpose.

I challenge you for 2015 to tap into your purpose. How do I do that you ask? Well I am glad you ask!
Simply find a way to serve others or a cause and not let yourself be the focus. I truly believe when we find a space of selflessness our purpose is usually wrap in it. Purpose, what does that mean? Well here is the dictionary's noun and verb definition.

1.The reason for which something exists or is done, made, used, etc.
2. An intended or desired result; end; aim; goal.
3. Determination; resoluteness.
4. The subject in hand; the point at issue.
5. Practical result, effect, or advantage:
    to act to good purpose.
6. To set as an aim, intention.  
   to intend; design.
7.To resolve (to do something):
As you see above purpose is about performing an act, its aiming and intentional. For this year pay attention to what you are able to do for someone else to cause a change or help in a positive way, without effort. Try to pay attention to what selfless act makes you feel full and fulfilled. For me it is helping people, speaking life into people, and most of all I love to sing and worship God. I fill so full when I can do those things. Something about being able to be used intentionally to make a person or situation better is an amazing feeling. I ask you to please try it and see if this can become a new normal for you.
Well ladies, I am happy to be here with you, we will have so many intimate talks this year. We will tackle some hard topics but real essential ones. We will have fun getting fit, healthy physically, emotionally, financially, and spiritually. Let's do it. Let's live on purpose with a purpose.
Love, Peace and Harmony your sister,

Friday, November 14, 2014

Can a Plant-Base Diet Cure Cancer?

Can a Plant-Based Diet Cure Cancer?

There is hope. Real, scientifically valid, practical hope. This is what I am learning from a few highly esteemed doctors and nutrition scientists who say there is much to be done with diet when it comes to cancer. What we eat very much affects the state of our health, so if we add in nutrition that supports healing while cutting out foods that create havoc, we can really change the course of our lives for the better. Here's the bottom line: Animal protein seems to greatly contribute to diseases of nearly every type, including cancer, and a plant-based (vegan) diet is not only good insofar as prevention, but it could also be curative.

I've asked Dr. T. Colin Campbell, professor emeritus of Cornell University and author of the groundbreaking The China Study to explain a little about how and why nutrition (both good and bad) affects cancer in our bodies. Campbell's work is regarded by many as the definitive epidemiological examination of the relationship between diet and disease. He has received more than 70 grant years of peer-reviewed research (the gold standard of research), much of it from the National Institutes of Health (NIH), and he has authored more than 300 research papers. He grew up on a dairy farm believing in the great health value of animal protein in the American diet and set out in his career to investigate how to produce more and better animal protein. Troublesome to his preconceived hypothesis of the goodness of dairy, Campbell kept running up against results that consistently proved an emerging and comprehensive truth: that animal protein is disastrous to human health. 

Through a variety of experimental study designs, epidemiological evidence and observation of real-life conditions that had rational, biological explanations, Dr. Campbell has made a direct and powerful correlation between cancer and animal protein. 

He says that at various times throughout our lives, we all have cancer cells that will pop up in our bodies, but what "feeds" the cancer and fortifies it is, among other things, animal protein. Why is that? Because animal protein (meat, dairy and eggs) alters the mix of hormones and modifies important enzyme activities, causes inflammation and cell proliferation and creates an acidic atmosphere in the body—all of which create and ideal environment for cancer to thrive. 

On the other hand, when you eat a plant-based (vegan) diet, you are getting the antioxidants inherent in vegetables and fruits that are critical to neutralizing cancer-causing free radicals in the body and fiber that acts like a scrub brush going through your body. A varied, plant-based diet is a protective diet—sufficient in amino acids for protein needs; high in fiber, antioxidants, vitamins and minerals; and low in saturated fats Although research on the effect of nutrition on cancer is ongoing, some experts are putting nutrition to work right now. One of these, Dr. Neal Barnard, heads The Cancer Project, which offers a series of nutrition and cooking classes in cities across the United States (The Cancer Project) for people who have been diagnosed with cancer and for people hoping to prevent it. The classes are based on studies showing that plant-based diets not only reduce the risk that cancer will start; they also improve survival after diagnosis. 
What's the evidence? For starters, many studies show that women who are overweight are at greater risk for succumbing to breast cancer. Trimming away extra weight helps them survive. Plant-based diets make weight control much easier. 

But the evidence goes further. The Women's Intervention Nutrition Study, which included 2,437 postmenopausal women who had previously been treated for breast cancer, tested whether a low-fat diet could reduce the risk that cancer might recur. And it did. The diet change cut recurrence risk by about 25 percent. 

Adding physical exercise helps too. In the Women's Healthy Eating and Living study, which included approximately 3,000 women, all of whom had been treated for breast cancer, those who had at least five daily servings of fruits and vegetables and averaged 30 minutes of walking each day had roughly half the mortality risk, compared with women who ate fewer vegetables and fruits or who were less active.

Diet also makes a huge difference for men. Dr. Dean Ornish, who had already shown the ability of a low-fat vegetarian diet, along with other lifestyle measures, to reverse heart disease, tested a similar diet for men with prostate cancer. To track their progress, he checked a blood test called prostate-specific antigen (a rapidly rising PSA is a sign of advancing cancer). Dr. Ornish showed that, on average, men who avoided animal products actually had a drop in their PSA levels, meaning their cancer was not advancing and might actually be retreating. Meanwhile, men in a control group that made no diet changes continued to worsen. 

Putting these studies together, the healthiest combination appears to be to cut out fatty foods—especially animal products—boost vegetables and fruits and lace up your sneakers. 

I realize this is a lot of information, and it may be contrary to the very diet you are used to eating. But with this knowledge under your belt, it should be easier and more exciting to upgrade your diet knowing the profound effect it can have; it also gives you more control over the future of your health, knowing that what you eat really does make a difference. If you aren't sick right now, lean into the change. Give up one animal at a time and substitute veggie proteins—soy, legumes, beans, faux meats—for animal ones, until you are comfortable with your new way of eating and living. If you have been diagnosed with cancer, you might want to check in with CancerProject.org for recipes and support and leap (or lean vigorously!) into this new and joyful way of eating!

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

How Important is Your Health To YOU!!!!

Hi my sisters, today is about your Health and the power you have to control it.
Anyone who knows me knows that I am EXTREMELY PASSIONATE about health, being an advocate for health and food therapy. This is my love language and it is my ministry to educate people about the power they posses to heal themselves, prevent sickness, reverse diseases, have emotional health and just understanding that we are not in a country who has your Best interest at heart. It is monetary gain that stimulates what is advertised to us. It is expected that you are intelligent enough to find out on your own what you need and don't need for your body. So ladies today we tackle the truth about our DIETS....
The short answer: eating a diet loaded with plant-powerful foods is our biological diet. Whether you are physician, naturopath, Raw Foodie, Paleo, Flexitarian, Vegan or a Bacontarian, one thing we can all agree on is that more whole, plant-based foods means more antioxidants, more nutrients, vitamins, minerals, less damaging fat and more fiber. And we all know that we need them all for optimal health, no question about it.
On a daily basis, we are assaulted with opinions that make us question, ignore and dismiss this very simple right-in-front-of-our-faces foundation for optimal health. Instead of listening to symptoms, and heeding them as a sign that we need to make changes, we medicate—we put “band-aids” over our body’s cries for help. We listen to the advertisements that tell us that “we aren't skinny enough” and “we’re ill, so pop a pill.” We eat foodstuffs that advertisers tell us are “healthy” or “helping to feed the world” without questioning their business motivations. As a nation, we pay more for our health care than any other country, and we do not have better health to show for it.
One third of adults over 20 are obese, one in 13 has diabetes and heart disease kills one out of three Americans. It’s time for us to become informed and empowered. It’s time for us all to be accountable. We have the power to heal ourselves, and the power to be healthier and happier than we ever imagined possible. A plant-based (or mostly plant-based diet) is your key—you will sleep better, your skin will clear up and glow, you will have more strength, afternoon fatigue will fade away, your mood will improve, you won’t catch colds or the flu, aches and pains will disappear, you will lose excess body fat, you will gain muscle, your joint pain will dissipate and you will feel better than ever.
Consuming more whole, natural foods will aid in maintaining, and regaining your health. Animal-based foods are extremely acid-forming, while plant-based foods are alkalizing—keeping bones strong and healthy. Plant-based foods reduce the risk of cancer and “diseases of affluence,” like diabetes. Plant-based foods are also better, and the natural diet, for farm animals. Gorillas, giraffes, rhinos—they all build plenty of muscle on a plant-based, too. Plant-based is better for the planet, too.
Plant-based foods offer an incredible variety of meal opportunities. When people find out that I don’t eat meat or dairy, they often ask “what do you eat?” My response is “what don’t I eat?” Variety keeps things interesting and there are infinite delicious plant-based possibilities—a universe of them. And did I mention that plant-based foods can actually be a bargain? It’s true.
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I don’t think you’ll find a single medical professional, acupuncturist, nutritionist or holistic practitioner who disputes the fact that the more clean, organic vegetables we consume, the better off we all will be health- and happiness-wise.

. . .
Sometimes the wrong choices bring us to the right places.
There are myriad reasons why people choose to eat an exclusively, or mostly, plant-based diet. Some folks end up on the herbivore track due to concern or disgust about the abominable treatment of animals in factory farms. Others choose to go veggie because they want to reverse illness. While some may want to eat foods that are more sustainable for our abused planet. No matter the reason, we all share space in a world riddled with endless nutritional confusion and out-of-whack priorities. A place where easier, faster and cheaper are king. A time where technology without responsibility is taking us all down a dangerous path of illness and irrevocable environmental destruction. But, you have an opportunity to change this.
A plant-based diet can heal, not only our bodies and spirits, but our environment. So, no matter how you ended up reading this, no matter whether you call yourself a “vegan,” a “flexitarian,” a “vegetarian” or an “omnivore,” pat yourself on the back you are taking important steps towards a better life and your reasons are valid. You get to define what that life could/should be.
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I’m here to help, not judge you.
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Inform Yourselves
If your choices are informed ones, you’re golden, but you must be accountable for your own learning’. Simply Google “factory farming” and you’ll see that most aspects of industrialized farming are not what is depicted on product packaging—sunny farms with animals eating their natural diet of grass. Cheap, genetically modified foods (and food-like substances) have tremendous hidden costs. And major industries know what addicts you, and addiction makes you a customer for life.
It is very important that you empower yourself with information.
So do your research.
Numerous studies prove that a plant-based diet can reverse the diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease and certain cancers that scientifically generated foodstuffs, genetically modified foods and animal products promote. The treatment of farm animals in this country is unacceptable, and humans are very detached from how our food arrives on our table. We aren't asking the simple and important questions.
For example, cow’s milk is a liquid, designed by nature, to take a baby calf (not a human) from birth to 1,000 lbs in its first year of life. We are the only animals on the planet to drink the secretion from another animal on a regular basis—into adulthood. When human mothers are nursing, doctors recommend staying away from certain foods and medications because they can be toxic. Whatever mother consumes goes straight to her baby through the milk. Why wouldn't that be the case when consuming cow’s milk? Stay with me…
You can Google what the majority of cows are fed in this country, but know that it is not their natural diet (it usually contains genetically modified corn, other dead animalseven candy, etc.). In the very same way that the majority of Americans (who don’t eat their biological diet) end up sick, or with disease, cows get sick, too. To keep them alive, and producing unnatural amounts of milk and beef, to meet demand, they are given antibiotics and hormones. Which—surprise— don’t disappear before being consumed. Have you noticed how many young girls are entering puberty earlier these days? Think it’s a coincidence?
Look into the conditions cows are raised within—feces, stress, physical abuse in many cases. And do your research now, before a lot of this information is illegal. Oh yes, it’s not good for business if consumers learn the truth—a handful of states now have ag-gag bills on the books (“ag-gag” is a law that prohibits the making of undercover videos, photographs and sound recordings for those concerned with food safety, labor issues, free speech and freedom of the press).
Billions of dollars are spent on advertising by the meat and dairy industries to convince you (or scare you—fear is powerful) that you need milk for strong bones and lots of meat for a healthy body. When you hear “osteoporosis,” what words come to mind? If you said “calcium” and “milk,” then the American Dairy Association has done its job well. The fact is that science don't support these claims. Animal products are actually incredibly acid-forming, which in turn promotes calcium loss from bones. This is why countries that consume the most cow’s milk, and its by-products, also have the highest bone fracture rates. In a study authored by researchers at Yale University School of Medicine in 1992, based on data collected in thirty-four separate surveys conducted in sixteen different countries, and then published in twenty-nine peer-reviewed research publications, it was found that 70% of bone fracture rate was attributable to the consumption of animal protein.
The China Study the largest comprehensive study of human nutrition ever conducted via a partnership between Cornell University, Oxford University and the Chinese Academy of Preventative Medicine—discovered that in rural China, where 90% of the protein consumed comes from vegetable sources, the bone fracture incidence is only one-fifth that of the U.S. In multiple, peer-reviewed animal studies, researchers from the study also discovered that they could actually turn the growth of cancer cells on and off by raising and lowering doses of casein (the main protein found in cow’s milk). The China Study included 367 variables, 65 counties in China, and 6,500 adults (who completed questionnaires, blood tests, etc.). When they were done, they had more than 8,000 statistically significant associations between lifestyle, diet and disease variables.
Caldwell B. Esselstyn, Jr., M.D., a physician and researcher at The Cleveland Clinic (the best cardiac center in the country), treated eighteen patients with established coronary disease with a whole foods, plant-based diet. Not only did the intervention stop the progression of the disease, but 70% of the patients saw an opening of their clogged arteries. Dr. Dean Ornish, a graduate of Harvard Medical School, completed a similar study with consistent results.
It’s not just cancer and heart disease that respond to a whole foods, plant-based diet. It may also help protect you from diabetes, obesity, autoimmune diseases, bone, kidney, eye and brain diseases. Today’s American population is the sickest and most obese in human history, despite all of the health claims made by the meat and dairy industries. And since the Western diet is going global, populations that once rarely experienced our diseases of affluence, are now on the same medicated track.
S0, where do you start?
How to Start a Plant-Based Diet
I am a big believer that everyone’s body is different.
Some folks may need to eat some meat or fish. Some may need to be strictly plant-powerful. Some 100% raw foodies. Across the board however, I don’t think you’ll find a single medical professional, acupuncturist, nutritionist or holistic practitioner who disputes the fact that the more clean, organic vegetables we consume, the healthier and happier we will be.
If you can afford it (and if you can’t right now, save up), have a comprehensive nutritional blood analysis performed, so you have a personal blueprint for what your body needs. Eat more plants, period. If you continue to eat animal products, make sure they are grass-fed, humanely treated and actually meet your farmer. Eat clean, whole foods, and experience firsthand the difference in your energy level, quality of sleep, strength, mood, mental clarity and overall health. There is no more powerful motivation than that.
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I am not going to tell you that it’s going to be easy all the time—I’m going to tell you that it’s going to be worth it.
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The more research you do, and the more you experience the benefits of a plant-based diet firsthand, the more motivated you will become. Before you know it, you’ll be sleeping better, laughing more, feeling stronger and folks will be asking: “What are you doing? You look positively radiant.”
Visit The Big Crash Course for a list of important books, articles and documentaries that will inspire, educate and help you make this way of living an informed one.
Want more help getting started? Click on my link to the right to start changing your life:
Watch on Netflix:
1.Fork over Knives
2.Food inc
3.Food Matters 


Saturday, August 2, 2014

My turn to Vent Ladies....

Today the kids are gone for the weekend and I worked last night the grave yard shift. I came home this morning at about 7:30 am. I scanned the living room / dining room area and said to myself " I ain't touching a thing". I had purchased some breakfast from work  before coming home. I chit chatted with the Spanish chef about me being a vegetarian now and how I wanted my potatoes with veggies. So, I was looking forward to eating and going to sleep. I pushed everything off the couch onto the floor and took my shoes, bra, jewelry off and ate, drank my juice, turned the t.v. on and closed my eyes. Now, I open my eyes to find it is
 1: 37 pm.  I realized that I am still alone with no one to answer to. Hhhhmmm, I have nothing to do and no one to call. I take a moment to pray and read my devotionals. I then turned the t.v. to BET ( Black Entertainment Television).  It was a new movie showing with Omari Hardwick  as one of the main characters. I am a HUGE fan so I decided to watch it. Before I knew it I was watching  Saturday marathon of emotional stimulating movies that had me crying, laughing, reflecting and dreaming. WOW!! I am forty years old, and I am single(divorced), in school, single mother, working, and here I am on a Saturday alone spending it on the couch with BET.  Is there anything wrong with that picture?

I will say no. There is nothing wrong with that picture. Yes, I do wish I at times, I had maybe a significant other, to spend my quiet weekends with; when the kids are with their dad and his girlfriend. However, I am grateful for the break and that they are in GOOD hands. I just will not settle for anyone just to fill in a small void. I am single by choice.  I refuse to have a man in my life that I would not be proud for my son to model after.  Plus, my mantra is if he doesn't draw me towards God  then he is not for me. You know this time I am writing you ladies as my girls at a late night get together. I am doing a little venting. Considering this is what this blog is about. Its a place to be reminded you are not alone. I have to say being strong ALL the time is tiring. Sometimes I just need someone to say to me, "hey D, take a break I got this and you. Come here love let me give you a hug  and give you a massage," ! Yes, its my day to vent a little. It gets hard some days. I suppose the emotion makes me real and human. I stare at myself in the mirror and ask myself out loud, "Hey girl who are you? Truly.. Who do you believe that you are?". Hhhmmm, I look at my hair, my nose, I pick at my face, I look at my full lips, my body shape and I decided I am perfect in God's image. My heart is good, and consciences  is clear. I am not perfect but, with God's grace I am a working progress. Moving closer to my dreams and his purpose. Many don't know I sing. I take a moment to worship in song. I feel overwhelmed with gratitude and tears fall from my eyes. I am grateful for were I have come from and trust in were I am going.  Praise due to the most high God for dwelling in me and my space.  Then I sat back on the couch a little sad and yet grateful. Its one of those days I believe I had to deal with my quiet.

To often we get uncomfortable to hang out with ourselves. We have to be in the space loving ourselves enough to be fine with the quiet. If I am not okay with it how do I expect someone else to be? I have grown sooo much since my divorce. I am getting to know myself differently. Every layer means something. I enjoy my children (son 11yrs and daughter 8yrs) so much more now. I am very present now when I am with them. Before, there was soooo much chatter in my head when I was with them. Just all the busy things mom's have to do and think about. Now, when I am with them the chatter shuts up and EVERYONE takes a back seat. I love that about myself. I really do. I want my sisters out there to know it is a good thing to get to REALLY know yourselves. Every layer, every emotion. It is how we evolve and grow. Yes, I get lonely sometimes then I remember what I enjoy to do and I embrace them. I plan to get out more. I don't get out much but, that is because school takes up my time but, I will make time to go to the movies or to an event. I will make time for my friends.
Thanks for listening to me today. I needed you all to do a little unloading. Enjoy your week.
Your sister loves you.

Wednesday, July 9, 2014


Hello ladies it's been awhile. The constant moving and shaking of life just gets in the way of breathing at a normal pace at times. My thoughts today is about the value of women. As I observe day in and day out the movement and conversation of women. I can't help but to giggle. We are all so different and colorful in our looks,thoughts, our expressions, verbiage and opinion. Where does the image of ourselves come from? Some may say their mother. Others may say media or lack of certain components can shape us as women as well. The men we choose as mates can have a huge effect on how we view ourselves at time. The men in our lives that we declare our love for; how does he not value all of what you have to offer. The woman that sacrificed her body to extend the man's legacy. How does he value you when he dismisses your thoughts and opinions? To often we find ourselves in these relationships that we invest in only to wake up and not recognize ourselves anymore. How does that happen? How does the man WE CHOSE who have broken our heart;cause us from ever letting our hearts love again; when the very fiber of our makeup is encompassed around LOVE. We allow the brokenness to do so much damage. We own the pain to the point it cripples us in our finances, dreams, sexuality, self esteem, and worst our worth!! It is time to look mirror and have a heart to heart talk with the soul in you. You know the one closest to the Divine, God, Allah, Yahweh, Jehovah and Jesus. There is that voice in you that tries to remind you how great you were together before you were coerced into the lies about your power and your worth. Tell the voice how sorry you are and how much you miss her. Tell her that this was not the plan and it is NEVER NEVER NEVER to late to change the situation. You may be afraid to make a move but it is pushing through the fear that provides growth and success. Don't be enslaved in your mind. Lets go to mental and emotional battle to reclaim who we are. That means every time your mind says I can't do this or you are not good enough, or pretty enough, you can't lose the weight, your not intelligent enough, I want you to replace it with I am a child of God heir to his thrown through him I can accomplish anything. Say it over and over until you believe it. Make this your new truth from now on. You are enough and let me be the first to say with my heart I LOVE YOU and ALL that YOU STAND FOR!!!!! Know that I am an ADVOCATE FOR YOU MY SISTER!! WE are CITIZENS of the HUMAN RACE!!!! Remember you are contributors of mother earth..RECLAIM!!

Sunday, June 29, 2014

Life's interruptions !!!! Just Re-position your self!!

 Hello ladies it has been a while and I know you all are wondering where have you been sister? Well ladies I apologies for my absence. Since this is a platform to let your hair down with your girlfriends here it goes. I have been working really hard worth two jobs, in school and managing motherhood of an 11 year old boy and 8 year old girl. I was having a tough time getting motivated to write. Yes, it is the truth. I was all out of steam. I also had to deal with lacking sleep. I must say as you mothers and especially single mothers out there know it is tough being the CEO of your house. I was once married with my ex-husband's support to split the responsibilities.

Unfortunately that is not the case today. However I press on and do the best that I can.  It is amazing how in many cases (not all of course) men get to live their lives with their new found freedom and we get the bulk of the work. Well I could let bitterness occupy in my mind rent free but, I don't think so. I have to be my best me for my children. I re-positioned my mental self and embraced my skill-set as a mother. I refused to fall apart. I remember watching Oprah's Master Class the other night and Robin Roberts was the star speaking. I was preoccupied but listening at the same time. I heard her say "Be the leading lady in your world". I looked up and she was showing her journey through breast cancer. I popped up and told myself you are capable and wonderfully made by the most high divine God.. Get up and live your purpose.

Ladies re-position yourselves, the space in your minds, in your heart, home, jobs, and some of  the old baggage (dead beat boyfriends). Whatever the change it is an opportunity to grow and learn. One thing we can be certain of is change. I like to call them life interruptions. They happen in all our lives at one time or another. It could be the bombshell of a husband cheating, a surprise sickness, a foreclosure on a home, a misbehaving child or a sudden death of a close friend. Whatever the interruption, we are forced to push through. We are challenged in character, in integrity, in love, and maturity. We are guaranteed change. How you choose to adjust to the change is the key. You take that pain and transform it with prayer, chanting, meditating. You have to allow yourself quiet space so you can hear your inner voice. The voice that you were created with. It is your alarm clock; your warning signal.. It is there you conquer your thought, dreams, and ideals of yourself.  We should never let anyone take us out of character so much that we lose the core goodness of ourselves. Its just an interruption. The greatest revenge is success. So when these interruptions come into play the best thing you could do is re-position yourself and press towards success. You are more than worth it. Ladies it is GREAT to be back... Stay tuned.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Forgiveness "The Mental Gymnastics!!"

Forgiveness "The Mental Gymnastics!!"
Okay, ladies let's talk... There is a healing that needs addressing more then ever. I believe it is an EPIDEMIC of sorts!!!! It is the "Mental Gymnastics we put ourselves through just so we can justify our unforgiving behavior. Okay, now wait before you say "What do you mean unforgiving behavior?"
Well, as a health and wellness coach and a professional stylist; I speak to women everyday and I hear their pain, anger, bitterness, fear, broken spirit, callousness and watch how emotionally paralyzed they are. I remember that place. I remember how it crippled me of knowing and being the best version of myself.

 I plea to you ladies to start the work of letting go..  It is liberating. FORGIVENESS!!!!  It is like a breath of fresh air after being trapped in smoke for hours. In the smoke you cannot see clearly. It represents the thickness of the pain.
There are some things that people do to you that cuts deep and you are justified in not speaking to them anymore. Most times you may feel justified in your anger. However, in hind site they have you just where they want you. They are taking your power away from you. Usually, as you entrap the space that could be occupied with your greatness with malice and anger in your heart ; the other person continues on with life as normal. You to them is an after thought. Where there is un-forgiveness, there is anger. Where there is anger there is fear. Where there is fear there is pain. Identify with the pain that you fear. Face it head on. Tell it " I have packed your bags and you are evicted!"  You cannot change the past. Holding on to that pain or anger will only prevent your blessing.. Let the Universe fight the battle for you. There is Karma. You've heard it. "What goes around, comes around." Forgiveness is for you in your heart. You don't have to tell the person that you forgive them or even speak to them. Howevr, you can release them from housing space inside you. Vacate the premises immediately..

Let your heart function the way it was made to function; with love.. When you do re-introduce yourself to your heart. Tell it you apologize for starving it of its birth-right. Tell your heart you will never let anyone come between the two of you again. Then finally look in the mirror and say " I love you enough to NEVER let anyone still our joy... Please be clear that this will not happen over night. It will require a lot of mental gymnastics. However, every time you think of the circumstance say this. "Thank you for the opportunity to grow from this lesson."  Repeat that over and over again until it is your truth. Acknowledge your pain and move on. Bitterness and anger never gets tired just like fire. As long as you feed it. It will grow. So please Forgive!!! LET GO THAT THE PAST CAN EVER CHANGE...
 Remember that I am hear as your sister to hold you accountable for your GREATNESS!! Mediocrity is not an option. You deserve to be the very best version of yourself.
I am your biggest fan... Email me and ask me how I did it for details on specific advice. Till then your sister loves you...